Trump Brain Status: Lingonberry Jam

Photo: AP
Trump Brain StatusTrump Brain StatusDispatches from the cursed interior of Donald Trump’s overripe melon.

Appearing alongside Finnish President Sauli Niinistö on Wednesday, President Donald Trump remained extremely on this morning’s “bullshit,” raging at the press and inventing new conspiracy theories about his political opponents as his impeachment-induced nervous breakdown continued unabated.

The press conference began with an awkward beat, as Niinistö opened his remarks by noting that the United States is a “great democracy” and urging Trump to “keep it going on.”

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Things got worse from there.

Asked whether he’d comply with newly-threatened congressional subpoenas, Trump claimed House Intelligence Committee Chair Adam Schiff is the one having a “mental breakdown” and accused him of perpetrating a “fraudulent crime on the American people” for parodying Trump’s phone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

Trump also leaped on the just-published New York Times report that the White House whistleblower met with a member of Schiff’s staff before submitting his complaint to share a “vague” initial description of what he’d witnessed. With absolutely zero evidence to back up his assertion, Trump also insisted this meant Schiff personally helped author the final complaint.

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“I think he probably helped write it,” Trump insisted multiple times, when asked by Fox’s John Roberts about the Times’ report.

Asked by the Finnish press how he’d handle the current “political storm,” Trump bragged that he’d “lived with it from the day [he] got elected” and likened being under perpetual suspicion to “putting on a suit in the morning.”

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Things got particularly heated during a question from Reuters’ Jeff Mason, who pressed Trump to clarify just what he’d hoped Zelensky would do about Joe and Hunter Biden. Rather than answer the prompt, Trump repeatedly demanded Mason ask a question of Niinistö instead, asking the reporter not to be “rude.”

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Trump concluded his deranged showcase by ranting about how much greater the United States would be “if the press were straight and honest and forthright and tough” while conspicuously wagging his head when a member of the media interjected, “We are, Mr. President.”

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“We would be a far greater, uh, when we don’t have the CNN’s of the world,” Trump concluded, before making a hasty exit.

You can damage your brain cells and watch the whole unhinged spectacle here, if you dare:

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About the author

Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.