Trump Brain Status: Noble Peas

Photo: Evan Vucci (AP)
Trump Brain StatusTrump Brain StatusDispatches from the cursed interior of Donald Trump’s overripe melon.

Like a grade schooler who can’t fathom a world in which his partial attendance doesn’t merit a shiny gold star, President Donald Trump insisted on Monday that he absolutely deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for, as he put it, “a lot of things.”

But the president hedged during his United Nations General Assembly sit down with Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan, saying he’d probably only get one “if they gave it out fairly, which they don’t.”

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“They gave one to Obama immediately upon his ascent to the presidency” Trump continued. “He had no idea why he got it. And you know what, that was the only thing I agreed with him on.”

This isn’t even the first time Trump has said he deserves the prestigious award. Last year, he claimed “everyone” thought he should get the Nobel Peace Prize for his entirely superficial diplomatic work with North Korea. But, he said at the time, “the prize I want is victory for the world.”

It’s hard to say what’s changed from then to now, but it sounds like Trump is now even more committed to getting that sweet prize. And honestly, if it means he’ll shut the hell up about it, I say give the baby his bottle. He gets a shiny new paperweight, and the rest of us are spared hearing him whine about this particular non-issue ever agin.

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About the author

Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.