Trump Brain Status: Truck Stop Hot Dog

Trump Brain StatusTrump Brain StatusDispatches from the cursed interior of Donald Trump’s overripe melon.
This image was removed due to legal reasons.

According to the White House, it was supposed to be a speech on American energy and manufacturing policy. But for more than an hour on Tuesday, President Donald Trump complained to a Pennsylvania Shell plant crowd about dwindling TV audiences and then professed his love of large machines.


Remarking about the bank of television cameras in the rear of the auditorium (“That’s a lot of people back there for like an 11 o’clock speech,” he said, despite the fact that it was after 2 p.m.) Trump compared the media coverage to the Oscars, adding, “The Academy Awards is on hard times now.”

Claiming the Oscars’ falling viewership is a direct result of people making fun of him, Trump continued:

That used to be second after the Super Bowl and then all of a sudden it’s just another show, because people got tired of people getting up and making fools of themselves and disrespecting the people in this room, and the people that won the election in 2016.

Or maybe it’s just because the Academy Awards kind of suck?

But if Trump doesn’t love the Oscars, what—you might ask—does he love? Trucks!

That’s right, the president veered into singing the praises of his favorite large vehicles, telling the crowd, “I always loved trucks. I still do. Nothing changes. Sometimes, you know, you might become president, but nothing changes. I still love trucks.”


Buddy, we already knew.

And what would a Trump speech be without a bizarre reference to someone’s hands—which the president delivered during a rant about how construction workers would hate having to build computers, explaining, “You don’t want to make widgets, right? You don’t want to make those little things, with your beautiful hands.”


Here’s the whole speech, if you’re feeling particularly self-loathing today:

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.