Trump Can't Quit Rudy

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If you (an optimist) thought the end of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation would mean we’d see less of former New York City Mayor turned cable news dipshit and incoherent tweeter Rudy Giuliani, think again.


Politico reported on Monday that Giuliani is in talks with President Donald Trump’s 2020 re-election team to join the campaign in an unspecified role which “he expects will also include making policy and political connections for the 2020 effort.” Oh boy.

Giuliani, who spent the bulk of the past two years making a jackass of himself on the president’s benefit, will reportedly play a similar role as he did during the 2016 election, which likely means more frothy-mouthed introductions during MAGA rallies (“He will be the voice of all us outsiders. All us deplorables. All us losers. All us morons.”) and hobnobbing with Trump’s inner circle of ghouls to help craft the president’s agenda.

“We’ll see where they have holes and where they need help,” Giuliani explained to Politico. “I’m available to do a lot of it.”

Because time is a flat circle, we’ll likely also be treated to a whole new wave of stories about how much some members of the Trump camp can’t stand the fact that the president has blessed Rudy’s propensity to blabber incoherently without facing any serious consequences.

“The president is most effective when he’s in a great mood and he’s having fun on the campaign trial and Rudy adds to that,” one anonymous Trump campaign advisor told Politico. “I think [Giuliani] has the potential to be very effective in certain circumstances. He also has the potential to be unhelpful at times.”

Rudy contains multitudes, all of which will presumably be on full display for the next year and a half. Lucky us.