Welcome to WHAT NOW—it’s 2018, baby!!—which is still a morning round-up of the news/fresh horrors that await you today.
If you thought 2018 would bring about an end to the phrase “her emails,” you were sorely mistaken, as Huma Abedin, a longtime aide to Hillary Clinton, is being raked over the coals for emails that turned up on her husband Anthony Weiner’s computer. The State Department released nearly 3,000 of Abedin’s work-related emails in an end-of-year dump. President Donald Trump’s response to this news? THROW HER IN JAIL.
Aside from providing irrefutable proof that 280 characters was a massive mistake, Trump’s word salad response also contained the phrase “Deep State Justice Dept,” which is actually pretty funny, and a reference to “sailors [sic] pictures on submarine,” perhaps about the Navy sailor who was sentenced to one year in prison for taking photos of classified areas inside a submarine and is seeking a pardon from the president.
Five of the messages released from Abedin’s computer were marked classified; others were retroactively deemed classified when the State Department prepared the emails for public release. The disclosures stemmed from a lawsuit filed by the right-wing government watchdog group Judicial Watch.
- YouTube star Logan Paul (is he related to Jake? I do not care to find out) posted a video of a dead body he apparently happened upon in Japan’s Aokigahara, known as the “suicide forest,” and he is sorry about that. Black Mirror is superfluous in this hell-world.
- Hoda Kotb is officially a permanent co-host of NBC’s Today show alongside Savannah Guthrie, who announced the news on air this morning. Kotb is replacing former anchor Matt Lauer, who was fired for sexual misconduct in late November.
- Senator Al Franken is expected to officially step down today.
- More than 450 anti-government protesters were arrested in Iran and at least 12 are dead. Trump used it as an opportunity to punch at Obama.
For more news and opinions that get under your skin, follow Splinter on Facebook.