Trump Set to Invite Emmanuel Macron to White House for More Tedious Pissing Contests

CNN reported Monday evening that President Donald Trump will likely invite French President Emmanuel Macron to the White House for a state visit, according to two anonymous diplomatic sources. If he does, it will mark Trump’s first state visit since he took office just over a year ago.

The French president has made a distinct impression on Trump during his short time in office, with the two engaging in such pissing contests as “who can shake the other’s hand more aggressively” (the “moment of truth,” as Macron called it), which country can more gaudily display affection for their militaries, and who can say more racist things.

During a trip to France in July to celebrate Bastille Day, Trump ogled the “military might” of his host’s nationalistic, two-hour-long parade; it reportedly inspired Trump to organize a military parade in the U.S. (“We’re actually thinking about Fourth of July, Pennsylvania Avenue, having a really great parade to show our military strength,” Trump told Macron in September.)

“Through it all,” CNN reports, “Macron’s aides say he views himself as Trump’s interpreter in Europe, sifting through the brash pronouncements to find places of common interest. […] Paris-Washington ties are enjoying renewed strength.” (The White House declined to confirm or deny the reports to CNN.)

Who woulda thunk it: Two deeply classist political newcomers finding common ground.