Trump Shows the Strategic Genius Sure to Serve Him Well in the North Korea Talks

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

Master dealmaker and certified good-brain-haver Donald Trump hosted South Korean President Moon Jae-in at the White House on Tuesday, where he gave a firsthand demonstration of the 12-dimensional chess he’ll likely be deploying during the possible upcoming summit between the United States and North Korea.


Truly, it was a master class. Let’s take notes!

Lesson 1: Cast doubt on whether the thing will even take place.

“There’s a very substantial chance that it won’t work out. And that’s okay!” Trump insisted, adding that the summit he’d earlier insinuated could earn him a Nobel Peace Price might have to get kicked down the road a bit. Hey, no biggie!

Lesson 2: Promise to keep your opponent safe and happy.

Lesson 3: Ignore questions, but blame it on the other guy.


Actually, I think a visiting head of state would probably be pretty interested to know if the man he’s sitting next to has plans to risk further legal jeopardy in order to purge his own government of perceived threats.

Lesson 4: Embarrass the hell out of your honored guest.


Nothing says warm hospitality like conspicuously drawing attention to your guest’s language deficiencies in order make sure he knows just how committed to kissing his ass you are.

Assuming the North Korean summit does, in fact, happen, it’ll sure be fun to see how this brilliant negotiating mastermind brings this full suite of deal-making skills to bear!