Photo: Zach Gibson (Getty Images/File)

First Donald Trump couldn’t have his dumb $92 million military parade, so he decided to usurp Fourth of July celebrations this year in the nation’s capital. Now, he plans to transform the area in front of the Lincoln Memorial into a ticketed-only VIP area for his family and friends.

In other words, Trump wants to temporarily convert one of the nation’s most important public monuments into a type of Mar-a-Lago North. ‘Murica!

DC’s Independence Day festivities have always been nonpartisan, and they certainly have never been used as an excuse for an exclusive party for a wannabe dictator occupying the White House, along with his moronic children and corrupt Cabinet cronies.

According to The Washington Post, the area in front of the Lincoln Memorial extending to the middle of the reflecting pool will be “reserved for dignitaries, family and friends” of Trump and “accessible only through tickets distributed by the White House.”

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The Post described Trump’s plan as a “rebranding” of traditional July 4 activities, and Trump will deliver a speech in front of the memorial. The president is calling this narcissistic charade “Salute to America.” I’m guessing a lot of red hats will be there, probably for sale, and like the fireworks, they’ll be made in China.

Trump’s planners are adding more fireworks to the event than in past iterations, plus military bands and flyovers from military aircraft, the Blue Angels, and even Air Force One, according to the newspaper. All of this will affect other local logistics, such as transportation, boating, and air traffic. For example, unlike in past years, the Arlington Memorial Bridge will be closed, which is going to be a major headache for local motorists.

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Per the Post:

The ongoing shifts to what had been established security and crowd-control protocols have left officials in the District and some federal agencies confused about logistics as basic as what Metro stops and roads might be open or closed, and for what period, and how many fireworks displays will launch.

On Friday morning, bleachers had been set up on the plaza below the Lincoln Memorial, and workers were erecting other structures. Seats faced away from the memorial and toward the Washington Monument, making it unclear where exactly Trump plans to stand while giving his speech.

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Plus, the White House isn’t telling reporters yet how one might obtain one of these “free” VIP tickets.

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And speaking of fireworks, DC’s WTOP reported this week that the CEO of Phantom Fireworks, the country’s largest consumer fireworks retailer, spoke with Trump about Chinese tariffs a month ago. (Consumer fireworks sold in the U.S. are mostly made in China.) A few weeks after that meeting, which took place among business executives in DC, Phantom Fireworks CEO Bruce Zoldan donated $750,000 worth of fireworks for the July 4 event.

On Saturday, Trump announced at this year’s G-20 summit in Japan that he had decided to delay new tariffs on Chinese goods pending possible talks with that nation. The announcement followed a meeting Trump had with Chinese President Xi Jinping.

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Zoldan told WTOP that discussions about the donations had been ongoing for months, and they had nothing to do talks the execs had with Trump about tariffs on Chinese goods.

Nevertheless, the story caught the attention of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, a nonprofit organization that has sued Trump for alleged constitutional violations, including allegedly receiving illegal payments from foreign governments.

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My advice if you’re in the area on Thursday: Boycott all of this shit and go somewhere else. And let’s kick this megalomaniac and all of his enablers out of DC next year.