Trump's Dumb Military Parade Will Reportedly Cost 666 Percent More Than Previously Estimated

Photo: Carolyn Kaster (AP)

With all the various shit storms circling the White House these days, it’d be easy to forget that President Donald Trump’s extremely stupid ego-boosting military parade down the streets of Washington, D.C. is just a few scant months away. But now, thanks to a new report from CNBC, we’ve learned that not only is the parade going ahead as scheduled, but it’ll likely end up costing the American public a whopping $92 million—a far cry from an initial $12 million July estimate.

According to a “U.S. defense official with firsthand knowledge of the assessment” who spoke to CNBC on condition of anonymity, the Pentagon now believes Trump’s jingoistic foxtrot through the nation’s capitol will be 666 percent (hell yeah) more expensive than previously believed. The $92 million price tag is comprised of $50 million from the Department of Defense itself, plus another $42 million from other governmental agencies contributing to the parade.

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Per CNBC:

The $92 million cost estimate includes security, transportation of parade assets, aircraft, as well as temporary duty, or TDY, for troops. The official also noted that while the size and scope of the military parade can still shift, the plans currently include approximately eight tanks, as well as other armored vehicles, including Bradleys, Strykers and M113s.

The parade will also reportedly feature various military aircraft flying overhead, which means we’ll almost certainly be treated to images of the president pointing into the air with his mouth open.

Trump was reportedly inspired to demand the military march around for his pleasure after sitting through a similar parade with French president Emmanuel Macron last summer. Notably, that spectacle included a marching band rendition of several songs by celebrated beep-boop artists Daft Punk.

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Trump’s parade is scheduled for November 10, just four days after the 2018 midterm elections. If it goes as bad as polls currently indicate, at least he’ll have this astronomical boondoggle to cheer him up.

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Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.