2018 is almost in our rearview mirror, and the bright, hopeful future of 2019 is less than 24 hours away. Unfortunately, as befits this accursed year, we the tweeting public have been subjected to one final rant by President Donald Trump, who seems hellbent on not letting us escape his second year in office without reminding us that he is a small, petty, and extremely dumb man.
Festivus ended more than a week ago, but nevertheless, here is the President of the United States airing his very stupid grievances:
This is evidently in response to former Chief of Staff Gen. John Kelly’s exit interview with the Los Angeles Times, where he admitted that “ we left a solid concrete wall early on in the administration.”
And just why is the president so committed to an “all concrete wall” that is simultaneously “see through”? Because he’s worried that people on the other side of the wall in Mexico might kill Americans by literally throwing big bags of drugs onto their heads. Seriously.
Always a good sign when a man with his finger on the nuclear button starts ranting in the 3rd person about military decisions, right?
This grievance comes after reports that Trump has begun pumping the brakes on his surprise Syria withdrawal. Speaking with the Wall Street Journal, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Hell) confirmed that Trump was considering “slowing things down in a smart way” after he’d initially declared a 30-day withdrawal period.
Among those who’d criticized the decision was retired 4-star Army Gen. Stanley McCrystal, who called Trump “immoral” and said the decision to leave Syria in the manner the president had proposed would lead to “greater instability.” (It’s also worth noting that Trump’s departing Secretary of Defense James Mattis handed in his scathing resignation letter a day after Trump announced he would withdraw troops from Syria.)
Aaaaand of course, we ended up back at the wall:
Putting aside the grotesque xenophobic innuendo of access to Mexico being like an “open wound,” and the fact that Democrats have, in fact, brought him many, many budget proposals containing billions of dollars for border security, can we just take a moment to appreciate the insane phrase “strong and powerful Wall.” Sounds like something that would send Dorothy on a mission to kill the Wicked Witch of the East.
Anyway, the day is young. The year is almost over, and with any luck the President of the United States will shut the fuck up for the next 12 hours so we can end 2018 with some well earned peace and quiet.