Trump hugs Diamond & Silk
Photo: Getty

Wormed-brained attendees at Donald Trump’s Social Media Summit were treated to nearly an hour of him complaining about not getting enough engagement on his tweets, slamming the media for reporting on his spelling and grammar errors, and a flurry of other grievances about socialism, antifa, and much, much more. In short: It was hell!!!!

Among the attendees were Donald Trump Jr., his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle, the Trump-loving YouTube starts Diamond & Silk, Joy Villa, the singer who wears MAGA dresses, plagiarist Benny Johnson, and Toilet Paper USA’s Charlie Kirk. Trump also shouted out some of the lawmakers in attendances, among them, Dan Crenshaw, Josh Hawley, and Matt Gaetz, easily some of the worst people on Twitter.

Advertisement

“Some of you are extraordinary,” Trump told the crowd. “I can’t say everybody...the crap you think of is unbelievable.”

Apparently that was intended as a compliment!

Trump spent much of his rambling, semi-incoherent remarks largely railing against the Twitter, which he accused of manipulating numbers when he knows he’s posted a “beauty” of a tweet.

Advertisement

“I notice things happening...when I put out something, a good [tweet], that people like....it used to go up,” the president said, before listing off a non-sequential list of various different numbers he’s apparently seen flash before his eyes. “It goes up, then they take it down.”

Advertisement

He also railed against the mainstream media, CNN in particular, for noting when he makes (frequent) spelling and grammar errors in his tweets, saying, “I’m actually a good speller...the fingers aren’t as good as the brain.”

Advertisement

Not for nothing, but some of the right-wing personalities invited to the event also tweeted signs of posters put out for the rally which featured, you guessed it, spelling and grammar errors.

Advertisement

When Trump opened the event up for questions—the first of which went to Sebastian Gorka, who worked in his White House before it was reported he had deeply weird white supremacist ties—the White House cut the live stream, and reporters tweeted that they were escorted out of the room.

My brain feels quite bad after enduring this shitshow. So, to do this thing justice, here’s a list of JUST SOME of the other insane things Trump said.

Advertisement

How did Trump come to be such a fan of Diamond & Silk?

Melania, I guess! Trump said that his wife told him: “I see these two beautiful women, African American women, on television.”

Advertisement

“You have to see these women, they’re incredible, they’re genius,” Trump recounted her saying. He also brought the women on stage after saying “I love them.”

Uhhhhh he apparently hates flies, a lot

I can’t make this up: A fly (real or imagined) caught his eye during the remarks.

Advertisement

“How did a fly get into the White House? I don’t like flies, I don’t like flies!” Trump said.

Advertisement

What happened when Arnold Schwarzenegger took over at The Apprentice?

“He died,” Trump repeatedly said. The news moves so fast these days!

RED SCARE REDUX

Trump’s warned of the red menace before, but he put a finer point on it today.

“What they’re looking at is pure socialism, or worse, there’s a word called communism,” he told the group. Here’s hoping, buddy!!!!

Advertisement

TRUMP HAIR RAELLLL

He won’t stop talking about the big Fourth of July mess, but said the heavy rains that day proved his hair is, in fact, real.

Advertisement

“They learned it was real hair that day,” he said.

BRAIN SPUTTERING OXYGEN DEPLETING SCOOTER LIBBY?? ANTIFA TINY ARMS????

Advertisement

I pray for sweet relief.