Like a Kidz Bop version of El Chapo, these two Russian kindergarteners decided they were just about ready to blow this popsicle stand and escaped from their local kindergarten last week. Thanks to the important and groundbreaking journalism of the Russian tabloid Komsomolskaya Pravda, the world now knows the brave and inspiring true story of these two intrepid young children who used some shovels to dig a hole under the fence at the edge of their kindergarten grounds during a "supervised" walk.
The kids had been digging for a few days before busting out into the freedom of the open Russian terrain, and they weren't just there to wander around—these kids were on a mission. They wanted a Jaguar. Via The Guardian:
After reaching freedom, the boys walked just over a mile to a car showroom selling luxury cars. A female driver noticed them and asked what they were doing. They told her they had come from their kindergarten to buy a Jaguar but did not have any money.
The failed supervisor was canned, which makes sense, but seems to not give enough credit to these kids for being criminal masterminds.
Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.