Two Sides of the Same Idiot Coin

Ghoul Stephen Miller and Gourd Jared Kushner
Photo: Evan Vucci/AP

If Jared Kushner knows nothing, Stephen Miller knows too much.

In Monday’s Politico Playbook newsletter—which, for some reason, is “presented by” the Coalition Against Socialized Medicine—an excerpt of the upcoming book Border Wars by New York Times reporters Julie Hirschfeld Davis and Mike Shear details the presidential son-in-law’s bumbling incompetence, as well as his demonic counterpart’s penchant for cruel revenge.

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According to a screenshot of the book excerpt, Kushner straight up admitted that he’s an immigration dumb dumb on Jan. 3, the day the 116th Congress was sworn in.

At the time, he was getting an “Immigration 101 crash course” from several senior officials, and realizing, “in real time, how little he understood”—about the topic of which he was supposedly an expert!—after being told about the numerous immigration deals the Trump administration had failed to strike with Congress.

“Holy shit—this is pretty complicated!” Kushner reportedly remarked.

“Man, this thing has more landmines than Afghanistan,” he later commented.

“Kushner was starting to panic,” the book reads. An understatement, perhaps!

Politico goes on to report that the section on the fog being lifted from Kushner’s line of vision ends with a scene worthy of the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme. From Politico:

“‘Okay,’ [Kushner] said quietly. ‘So we’ve wasted the last two years.’ [Stephen] Miller looked stunned. Trump had taken the wrong hostage, and now they were all stuck demanding a ransom that everybody knew would never be paid. How were they going to get out of this?”

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Far less funny, however, is Border Wars’ deeper dive into the fucked up desires of White House senior advisor and white nationalist Miller. According to the newsletter, the book reports that Miller ordered U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to “surge all nonessential staff to the border to help with credible-fear interviews to vet asylum seekers and police the border” in February and March.

“He told his colleagues he wanted the Democrats to ‘feel the pain,’” the book alleges. It continues, emphasis mine:

“If USCIS sent scores of staffers to the border, that would mean fewer officers available to process green card requests and naturalization applications. That would disproportionately affect Democratic members of Congress who had large communities of immigrants in their districts, many of whom would see their own claims and those of their families stalled.

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Have you ever heard of someone with less of a soul?

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About the author

Samantha Grasso

Splinter Staff Writer, Texan