$600 buys you 2,400 gumballs, or a fancy leather bean bag, or a vagina couch, if you're lucky enough to live in Portland and wish to brave the waters of vagina couch Craigslist, a notoriously savage part of the internet. Michelle, presumably content with the years she and the vagina couch spent together, seeks to rid herself of the vagina couch for the low price of $600.

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How does a vagina couch come into the world? According to Michelle, the answer is: art school, where she says the vagina couch became part of our earthly realm. It's beautiful, and pink, Michelle writes, andĀ is actually a "vagina couch," not a vagina couch. Why the quotation marks? Are they ironic? Is it because she is inventingĀ a heretofore undefined neologism? Does this vagina couch only exist in theory? (Texts to Michelle for clarification went unreturned).

Michelle says the couch has been around a few years, and so it has some scuffmarks and stains.

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Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.