We're Only One-Third of the Way Through Trump's First Term in Office, Hahahahaha!!!!!

Today, May 21, 2018, is President Donald Trump’s 487th day in office, marking the first one-third of his first term in office down. This seems wrong, given that Trump has already been in office for 1,200 years.

(Trump technically became president at 12 p.m. on Jan. 20. That means that Trump will have been in office for exactly 486 days as of noon on Monday. Since a third of four years is 486.66 days, we won’t technically reach the one-third mark until 4 a.m. ET on Tuesday. Woof.)

After reading this news, I uttered an involuntary “HA!” as if someone had punched me in the gut, then returned to my stoic frown.

Folks!!! My blood pressure is barely under control one-third of one term into this thing. If Trump gets a second (or third, or fourth) term in office, I fully expect to enter a semi-permanent dissociative fugue state. (On the bright side, there’s only 169 days until the midterm elections!)

Hold your loved ones close, and remember that life is as fleeting as morning dew evaporating in the sun.