Photo: AP

Twas a week before Christmas, when all through the house, the Associated Press was following Karen Pence around for a generous puff piece.

In a case of press releases come to life, the Associated Press on Wednesday took a dive into covering... the Christmas decorations at Vice President Mike Pence’s official residence:

Stockings hung by the chimney with care? Nine red ones hang from the fireplace mantle in the dining room: Six for the Pences and three for pets Hazel, Harley and Marlon. Instead of visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads, kids can stop by a special candy station to fill up on them...The main attraction shines in the living room: an 11½-foot (3.35-meter) North Carolina fir decorated with ornaments symbolizing the “bundle of toys” Santa “had flung on his back.” A life-size Santa replica stands next to the tree, reviewing his naughty or nice list. Guests arrive to an oversized copy of the poem [“Twas the Night Before Christmas”] opened beside a high-backed red velvet chair.

Is this a Travel Channel-esque glimpse inside the Pence residence or a try-hard description for a Facebook event inviting the neighborhood to the Pence’s annual winter wonderland bazaar? I can’t tell!

Photo: AP

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A life-size replica of the big man himself? You don’t say! But really, who was this article (and the poorly-produced accompanying video following around Karen Pence) created for? Do I laugh knowing that Pence, still to this day, insists on reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas” poem to his large adult children? Yes, I do.

But the AP didn’t ask any questions about Pence’s new role as human paper weight this holiday season or his backing of a segregation-defender to be a federal judge. There’s not a critical voice to be found in this story about decking the halls, but hopefully the access was worth covering such other non-events as Pence missing a SpaceX launch or him being so rudely mocked by Very Mean Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar.

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Good job, AP! Maybe in the new year we can learn about how the Pence family celebrates St. Patrick’s Day.