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It's been a rocky week for the stock market. After the worst two-day drop since the financial crisis, the S&P 500 has recovered some of its losses, rising 1.3 percent and giving investors hope that the worst might be over.

This week's news about the stock market's wild swings — and most news about the stock market in general — is filled with overwrought, panicky headlines that do more to scare you than inform you about what's really going on, and whether or not you should actually be freaking out. (Answer: probably not.)

We tried to imagine what this week's stock market headlines would look like, if they were totally honest.

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Photo illustrations by Elena Scotti.