Disney

Guys, what are you doing this weekend? Re-discovering that jelly sandals are incredibly uncomfortable once you sweat in them? Or maybe you’re going to see a movie, like good-natured consumers do. But what movie are you going to see and what does it say about you? Well, fret not, we’re breaking it down here.

Maleficent

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If you’re seeing Maleficent this weekend, you’re probably a great employer/boss/mother/mentor/benefactor/manager. You’re awesome, and realize that villains can be more entertaining, complex and interesting than stereotypical heroes. Go, you! (Hi favorite parent company, Disney!)

A Million Ways to Die in the West

If you're going to go see A Million Ways to Die in the West, you’re probably the kind of person who was really popular in high school, when people in your relatively small bubble of a community found your humor “edgy.” But now, as you’re entering the Real World of Relatively Responsible Adults, you’re finding more people responding to your Facebook posts with “really??” And the “really,” is for one of two reasons. First, you’re jokes are offending people who have moved on and become more accepting of the world. Second, you’ve been using the same jokes for years.

Night Moves

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This weekend, Night Moves might be the movie you see this weekend if you have a compost, and love your compost, and tell all your friends that they should get a compost, which they should if they care about the environment at all.

Korengal

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Korengal might be the movie you see this weekend if you’re the kind of person whose friends rely on you for your encyclopedia-like knowledge of military documentaries. You saw and admired the film’s predecessor, Restrepo, and want to continue following this story of the psychology of how war changes man.