Image: Disney

In Star Wars, there’s a lot of politics. In the prequel trilogy many of the plot points revolve around a labor hostile trade organization and a Galactic “Senate,” two things that we here at Splinter know are objectively bad. But the most recent trilogy, which will conclude this winter with Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, is centered around another familiar political theme... nepotism.

I mean come on, Rise of the Skywalker??? A whole damn galaxy and literally only one family has mattered for like a hundred years? Seems bad, to me.

There are a million theories about who Rey’s parents are that people (not me) care about a lot but as far as this title goes it sure seems like she’s being set up to take on the Skywalker family name. Either that or it refers to Kylo Ren, the spoiled-ass legacy admission to Luke Skywalker’s short-lived Jedi Academy that got expelled and then still failed upwards into a leadership role at the Galaxy’s most sinister corporation/ thinly veiled Nazi metaphor. Either way... nepotism much???

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Look, here’s Rey hugging Leia Organa/Solo, a literal princess by adoption who also happens to be the daughter of the former military leader of the last empire and an influential senator in the preceding Republic. Damn. Sure seems like Rey’s been tapped as the future of the Jedi Order and anointed by the political establishment. Peter Daou is probably going to watch this and immediately start planning Chelsea Clinton’s 2028 campaign. What about the kid with the broom at the end of The Last Jedi? Why didn’t he get a full ride to Skywalker U? What about Finn Stormtroop, a true working class hero who’s been relegated to a side-plot in most of the narrative arc?

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Even Luke himself, the supposedly humble farm boy in the original trilogy, basically walked into a massive trust fund and the full support of the minority political party as soon as he met his dad’s old work buddy Obi Wan on Tattooine. Oh yeah, here’s a lightsaber, kid, also come with us and we’ll let you fly an insanely expensive fighter jet like 20 minutes after meeting you because the Princess (who is also your sister) likes you a lot. Han had to bring his own dang ship!

In conclusion, the Skywalkers are the Clintons and the trailer was pretty cool, honestly. I liked the part where Rey did a flip, I was like, oh man, is she gonna hit the TIE fighter with the sword and then she jumped over it instead and hit it with the sword it looks like which was pretty sick.