Photo: Getty

Much like you dangle your keys in front of a small child, the White House is dangling fun international travel in front of Donald Trump in the hopes that he doesn’t start a fight with former FBI director James Comey when Comey’s book comes out next week.

Comey—who, despite being the former head of an evil agency whose actions helped Trump win in 2016, has been improbably reborn as a #resistance hero—is set to go on an interminable tour to promote his new book, A Higher Loyalty, where he will presumably say a lot of bullshit things about “honor” and so on. The White House is apparently so worried about how Trump might react to this that it’s loaded up his schedule with fun president things to do in the hopes he won’t notice Comey’s 17 cable news interviews per day. From Politico:

Senior aides are hoping Trump’s trip to South America and subsequent summit with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe at Mar-a-Lago will provide a distraction, as well as an opportunity for the president to appear above the fray.

I wish I could be distracted from James Comey’s book tour by an all-expenses-paid trip to South America! Instead, I and the rest of the world will be forced to endure it in all its horror. Anyway, my guess is that the strategy to make Trump look the other way will fail miserably.