White House Reportedly Thinking About Who Could Fill Sarah Huckabee Sanders' Lying Shoes

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Hard as it may be to believe, there will someday come a time—perhaps soon—when Sarah Huckabee Sanders will step down from the White House Briefing Room podium and let another soulless liar take a turn at publicly shredding their dignity in the vain hope of...glory? Money? Some pathological need to debase themselves in front of a live studio audience? Who knows.


What we do know is that, according to Politico, White House staffers have already started looking at “life after Sarah.” They’ve even started a shortlist of the goblins and banshees who might some day take her place. And, as you might expect, they’re all pretty bad. They also have....something in common.

From Politico (emphasis mine):

At the top of the list is Heather Nauert, the current State Department spokeswoman and former Fox News host. Nauert has impressed White House aides with her steady performances in Foggy Bottom. Multiple people close to the White House pointed out that Nauert remained in Trump’s good graces even when the president soured on former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

Nauert’s Fox News pedigree, paired with her close relationship with Trump and her ability to stay on message and remain calm under pressure, makes her a “no-brainer” for the job, according to one person close to the White House. Nauert, who did not respond to a request for comment, has told associates that she’s unsure whether she would want the job, but people who know her believe she’d take it if asked.

Other possibilities include Bill Hemmer, a Fox News reporter; Kimberly Guilfoyle, a former Fox News host who recently left the network to join a pro-Trump outside group; Treasury Department spokesman Tony Sayegh, who worked closely with the White House on its overhaul of the tax code and used to be a Fox News contributor; and White House deputy press secretary Raj Shah.

Hmm, I’m starting to sense a pattern here...

Given Donald Trump’s obsession with crafting an administration that looks good on TV, it’s hardly a surprise he’d be so focused on drafting someone whose career has already consisted of spewing propaganda for a Fox News audience—especially considering the already-incestuous relationship between his inner circle and his favorite TV station. So, yeah, smart money’s on a Fox News alum (sorry Raj!).

Of course, if we’re lucky, the sun will go super-nova before then, and we’ll all be spared the indignity of any future White House press briefings for eternity.

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.