Talking sticks are typically what pre-school teachers use to help hammer home the importance of not interrupting to a room full of four-year-olds. According to Senator Susan Collins, however, talking sticks are also what the supposed adults in the United States Senate use to help make decisions that will affect the lives of millions.
Speaking with CNN in the wake of Monday’s vote to reopen the U.S. government, “multiple senators” confirmed that not only did Collins use a talking stick to maintain a sense of order and decorum during negotiations around the shutdown, but that her juvenile attempt at civility totally failed.
On one occasion, one of the other senators was speaking while another asked a question and then turned with another quick, longer, louder question. The member who was holding the stick “forcefully delivered” the stick across the room — but it missed its mark and caused damage to a shelf in Collins’ office.
A glass elephant sitting on a shelf owned by Collins became the casualty, with the stick chipping it a little bit.
It is truly a marvel that these people have not blown the Earth up yet.
I can confirm that Collins does, in fact, have a glass elephant, as evidenced by this Getty photo from 2016:
Collins reportedly laughed off the incident and eventually replaced the talking stick with a less-destructive rubber ball.
The guilty party, meanwhile, has not been identified. So I ask: Do you know who broke Susan Collins’ glass elephant?
Speculate wildly in the comments!