Why I'm not volunteering to die on Mars

1. Sounds hard.

2. Wasn’t that into Burning Man.

3. No Netflix.

4. Have a chiropractor appointment that took forever to get.

5. Hard to take selfies with space gloves.

6. Can’t play license plate game on the way.

7. Zero-g messes up seltzer, probably.

8. Not ready for President Elon Musk.

9. Bad Tinder options.

10. “Dry, dusty, and cold.”

11. Gnawing feeling that Shingy will be there.

[earlier: Why I’m volunteering to die on Mars]