Screenshot: Washington Post/Fox

The Super Bowl...what is there to say. The game sucked, and somehow all the commercials sucked even more.

For example, here’s the Washington Post’s much-hyped 70-second ad narrated by Tom Hanks:

Quick question, what the fuck is going on here?

Specifically, why is Bret Baier, a walking mouthpiece for a regime propaganda network, featured as some kind of shining example of journalism by doing a stand-up to camera shot in the middle of a desert near a tank? Motherfucker goes golfing with Trump and now they’re going to stick him in an ad next to an awkwardly shoehorned memorial section to Marie Colvin and Jamal Khashoggi.

The latter section was particularly painful, as you could see how there was maybe an actually effective ad somewhere in a boardroom, where the Post devoted the majority of its airtime to highlighting the dozens of journalists who have been captured, killed, tortured, or imprisoned for doing their jobs in the past few years. You could add a lot of names to that list, and none of them would be a fucking White House correspondent or “chief political anchor,” no matter how tough it was for Jim Acosta to lose his good boy lanyard for a few days.

When this aired live someone at the Super Bowl party I was at went, “Ah yes, New York City, exactly what comes to mind when I think of the Washington Post.” Maybe...do an aerial shot of DC or something? Don’t ask me I don’t have the budget to have Tom Hanks come and narrate shit for me. And shit, if you’re going to pander to the Fox News crowd and whitewash all of the hideous filth they spew, at least use Shep Smith or someone else.