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"These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time. Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them."


So begins one of the most painfully obnoxious "how-to"s in recent memory: A step-by-step instruction manual for men eager shove their bloated sense of self-worth into the ears of any woman unfortunate enough to be in their midst.

Written for the website The Modern Man ("We teach men the secrets to success with women"), How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones has become the internet's latest "what is this nonsense?" flashpoint—an article so locked into its own fucked-up solipsistic worldview of women as passive objects just waiting to be hit on by the right man that it essentially encourages street harassment. Feel free to check it out if you'd like, but be warned: It's full of terrible stock photos and even worse advice.


Fortunately, the internet is having none of it.

Seizing upon the article's hyper-specificity, Twitter users have been mercilessly mocking this "guide" with helpful hints, and increasingly particular scenarios, of their own:


— E. Catherine Tobler (@ECthetwit) August 30, 2016

There's even a hashtag.

#HowToTalkToAWoman Who Is Trying To Drive A War Rig To The Green Place

— Ginny McQueen (@GinnyMcQueen) August 30, 2016


Of course, at the end of the day, the ultimate lesson here is:


Or, to put it even more succinctly:

— Cheru foosball rpger (@Slightdelirium) August 30, 2016

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