Screenshot: CNN

During a press conference on Thursday in which he launched yet another round of attacks on asylum seekers right before the midterm elections, President Donald Trump gave American border patrol agents and soldiers at the border the A-OK to gun down migrants if they so much as throw a rock.

This was an abhorrent and insane thing to say and do. And so obviously, CNN had former Pennsylvania senator and giant dipshit Rick Santorum, along with Women for Trump co-founder Amy Kremer, on to talk about Trump’s speech last night.

“Rocks as rifles?” host Chris Cuomo asked incredulously. “That is to put hate in people’s hearts, that is to remind them that these people are not worthy of the decency that we would give them to enemies in Iraq and Afghanistan.” Kind of a dubious claim in itself, but Kremer immediately topped it.

“The president said that trying to discourage [migrants],” Kremer said. “Remember the story of David and Goliath? It was a stone. And remember on September 11, what was the weapon they used to fly those airplanes into buildings? Box cutters.”

Advertisement

Everyone knows the famous Biblical tale of David vs. Goliath, but just to quickly refresh you on it: David, who is fleeing from violence in his home country exacerbated by a U.S.-backed coup, throws a rock at Goliath, and then Goliath calls in a drone strike on David and everyone cheers for Goliath, the good one, while a bald eagle named Freedom weeps tears of joy.

Kremer was’t done, however. “Chris, when you have you ever known our military just to go shoot people up?” she asked.

Apropos of nothing, this year marked the 50th anniversary of the Mỹ Lai massacre.

Advertisement

If you’re looking for any further evidence that this whole conversation was fucked from the beginning, Santorum—yes, Rick Santorum—managed to sound like the Reasonable Conservative in the conversation for about 5 seconds.

“I understand the point that the president’s trying to do everything he can to discourage people from coming to the border,” Santorum said, “but that was not an appropriate way to do so. There’s other ways...there’s lots of things you can do to discourage people from coming.”

Eventually, however, Cuomo and Kremer went back to David and Goliath, with Kremer vehemently denying that she wasn’t justifying gunning down migrants (when that’s clearly what she had done less than three minutes earlier) while Cuomo quipped, “They didn’t even have slingshots!”

Advertisement

Thank you so much to CNN for subjecting us to this.