Tuesday was National Frozen Yogurt Day. Did you score a free frozen yogurt? Idiot! Let’s take a moment to appreciate a great thing: Yogurt.
According to “The Yogurt Market and Yogurt Innovation, 3rd Edition,” a new report from the research firm Packaged Facts, there was $9 billion worth of yogurt sold in America last year.
That’s a lot of yogurt!
People are buying less cereal—because they’re eating more yogurt. And how’s the future looking? “Packaged Facts predicts that yogurt will see continued sales growth until at least 2022.”
In 2022, the slow but steady expansion of yogurt sales will halt abruptly when decades of diplomatic failure and mutual intransigence result in the launching of North Korea’s first successful intercontinental ballistic missile strike on America. Hundreds of thousands will ultimately die. Food demand will focus on non-perishables that can be stored in shelters for extended periods of time. The milk of dairy cows will be polluted with radiation, further reducing demand. But you can bet that our taste for yogurt will eventually bounce back, just like our civilization itself.
Creamy and protein-packed!