Photo: AP

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz announced today that he will step down from the company later this month. Rather than deciding to retire to a private island with no Wi-Fi for the rest of his days, as I would, Schultz said he’s keeping the door open for “public service” in the future, which was widely interpreted as a hint he might run for office.

“I’ll be thinking about a range of options for myself, from philanthropy to public service, but I’m a long way from knowing what the future holds,” Schultz said in a memo to employees.

Upon hearing this news, the Twitterverse went into full 2020 Speculation Mode:

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Still others expressed an emotion approaching excitement about this wholly bland white man worth $2.8 billion running for the highest office in the land:

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The New York Times’ Andrew Ross Sorkin added more names from corporate America to the mix of potential 2020 candidates, with one particularly evil standout (emphasis added):

Mr. Trump’s successful candidacy has triggered a wave of speculation about business leaders eyeing a shot at the White House. Robert Iger, Disney’s chief executive, publicly said he had been considering running for president until he struck a deal to buy 21st Century Fox. Jamie Dimon, chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, is also thought of as a possible candidate, and Mark Cuban, the billionaire owner of Dallas Mavericks N.B.A. team, has said he planned to consider running as Republican, but would need to convince his wife first.

Here’s the thing: We do not need another corporate plutocrat in the White House. If we’ve learned anything in the past 10 years (n.b. we have not) it’s that we certainly don’t need the chief executive of a Wall Street bank running our federal government. The current president has already been doing a fine job helping out the country’s CEO class in the form of billion-dollar tax breaks.

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You don’t have to choose a corporate overlord for president, even if you enjoy the products or services they sell. Billionaires will never save us.