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quicklist: curated
quote: “‘Huh?’ said Biden, shooting bolt upright in the darkened morgue among a row of unidentified male corpses. ‘What the hell? What’s going on? Ah, Christ. You gotta be fucking kidding me.’”
their: The Onion
their_title: Nude Biden Wakes Up On Cold Slab In D.C. Morgue
their_url: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nude-biden-wakes-up-on-cold-slab-in-dc-morgue,34243/?ref=auto
their_copy: Disoriented and “freezing his goddamn nuts off,” a naked Vice President Joe Biden reportedly awoke Thursday morning on an autopsy table in the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, White House sources confirmed.
theirCTA: Read the full story here.
our_copy: At least they took him to the morgue; wouldn't be so lucky in Scranton.

Ted Hesson was formerly the immigration editor at Fusion, covering the issue from Washington, D.C. He also writes about drug laws and (occasionally) baseball. On the side: guitars, urban biking, and fiction.